Parents, Burnout Can Impact Your Child

“He has eight cavities,” my son’s dentist told me.

This happened in 2018 when I was struggling with burnout from my high-pressure job, coping with the lingering effects of my husband’s illness, juggling family responsibilities and undergoing training for a new career.

My son had been complaining about soreness in his gums for some time, but I was too distracted by my own issues to pay attention.

I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. Some days, I felt like I might not wake up due to the overwhelming stress.

When I finally took him to see a dentist and was told about his poor dental health, I WAS MORTIFIED. I felt so bad for not paying closer attention to his needs.

This is how a parent’s burnout can manifest. Even when you are a loving parent, chronic stress not only affects your own health and well-being, but also your children's.

When you become overly preoccupied with your own issues, you can disconnect from your children or your spouse. You may also find yourself becoming easily irritable.

The feeling of overwhelm and pressure makes you feel like you are drowning. You are merely surviving, not living.

I paid the price for neglecting my wellbeing. My son’s poor dental health became one of the major wake-up calls for me.

Only when I took steps to take care of myself, did I experience an overall improvement in my well-being, including increased happiness and positivity towards the future.

I felt better equipped to handle challenges and became more patient as a parent which strengthened my bond with my son and brought more joy to our relationship.

This positive change requires consistent and dedicated effort.

These days, my son's dentist comments on how good his teeth are!

How has your burnout affected your relationship?

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In 2023, when you choose to work with me, I will donate 5% of your fees to a children-focused nonprofit of your choice from a selected list, like the Raise Foundation.

This nonprofit is dedicated to stopping the cycle of child abuse, neglect and maltreatment by strengthening parents and families.

It provides various services including parent education, food distribution, training on child safety, as well as raising awareness about the importance of parental well-being.

Every single zip code in Orange County has recorded cases that are harmful to children, said Executive Director Eldon Baber.

“It’s a myth that cases only happen in broken homes, certain families or neighborhood,” Baber said. “This is not a problem of poverty, of a particular race, ethnicity or a particular age group. It happens in all communities.”

Problems can go unnoticed because they often happen behind closed doors, and many people don't know their neighbors and choose not to intervene.

It's important to be aware of the struggles of those around you and not to turn a blind eye to potential problems that could be addressed with support, Baber said.