My Son is My Guidance. My Letter to Julian.

This post first appeared in my Facebook account.

When I have moments of doubt about my actions and decisions, my son Julian is always my guidance. I want to support him the way I want to be supported. This is particularly poignant for me at this time.

This is a letter I decided to write to Julian. He is 8. He probably won’t understand it now. In fact, when I read the letter to him and the part about following his heart, his reply was, "Icee!"

Errrr, that was not exactly the feedback I had expected.

What else might you add to this? What would be your message to your children?




Dear Julian,

I love you. You don’t ever need to doubt that.

That’s why I want you to know that I will support you no matter what you do, what you say and what decisions and choices you make.

I want to you to know that you are not always going to experience that kind of support in this world and there will be challenges that you face.

As you are growing up, you are going to find that everyone has different opinion about your decisions and actions. There will be judgements and assumptions made about them, including me.

I might not like what you do. Know that when that happens, that’s only because I want the best for you from my own point of view and to protect you from pain and hurt in my part as your mother. But that doesn’t mean my point of view would work well for you.

Do not for one second think you need to base your choices entirely on my perspectives. Don’t take my words as the truth for no one has the truth.

My hope is for you to learn and recognize what makes your heart sing and follow it as much as you can. That is your North Star. It might take time to get to where you want to be and respect where you are at.

Be silent and listen well to your heart and stay on the path no matter how challenging it might seem.

Always ask yourself tough questions and do your utmost to answer them honestly with your mind, your heart and your soul.

I am only here to give you guidance, but the decision is always yours.

What most of the world judges as mistakes and failures are only lessons that you can learn from, and that is your knowledge. Know that that knowledge is invaluable and powerful. No one can take it away from you and it will stay with you for the rest of your life.

I love you and therefore I want you to know you have the freedom to take whatever path that you believe suits you.

My promise to you is that I will always stay curious and do my best to understand the purpose and intention of your actions from your own point of view.

I also promise I will look into my discomfort when I feel uncomfortable with your decisions and actions.

I love you. No matter what you do, you are going to have my back. I will always be here for you and you can always come to me for support.

I will strive to be as non-judgmental as I can.

Infinite love to you,

Your mom ❤️