How One Coaching Model Shifts My Views About Everything
One of the models I love using in my coaching is called the Internal Family Systems (IFS), developed by psychotherapist Richard Schwartz.
Its effect on me has been deep and profound.
IFS has completely shifted how I see myself, the people around me and the events that are happening around the world.
That has affected how I relate to people around me and react to different situations in a positive way.
THE IMPACT ON ME:
IFS has naturally led me to see and treat my son, my husband, my family, friends, strangers and the world events with more understanding, compassion, patience and peace. Forgiveness can also naturally arise.
When my son throws a tantrum, I get curious with myself and him. When I understand why I am triggered, I am able to treat him with more patience and love, rather than frustrations. I am less reactive. The same goes with my husband.
I used to see my mom’s criticisms as overbearing and then I realized it’s actually love. I experienced an epiphany in one of my interactions with her, resulting in actions that improved our relationship.
When a car cuts in front of me unexpectedly, I can immediately let go, rather than getting angry.
Once a stranger yelled a racist slur at me in Manhattan, I thought about how he might suffer a lot of anger living in a diverse city, rather than getting angry at him.
IFS also has helped me make tough personal and work-related decisions.
WHAT IS IFS:
IFS, or Parts Work, believes the mind is naturally multiple. (For example, we say things like: A part of me wants me to go out; another part of me wants to stay in.)
Through IFS work on myself, I can see that negative thoughts and actions have good intention behind them. This realization is the most profound and an eye opener to me.
I am able to accept and welcome all parts of me.
I naturally see myself with compassion, and understand why I think what I think and do what I do.
There is a spiritual depth to it all. At the core, there is Self — it is who I really am. The Self represents a seat of consciousness, like sunlight, that’s always residing in each one of us.
The Self posses its own wisdom about how to heal internal and external relationships, creating transformation.
The main qualities that the Self embody are the 8Cs — Compassion, Curiosity, Creativity, Clarity, Confidence, Courage, Calmness and Connectedness.
The goal of this model is to have your life led by the Self as much as possible.
Making a difference starts with me. Then others and the world.
Have questions or want to explore IFS with me? Drop me a line or click the button below.
With love, peace, joy ❤️
